Monday, March 3, 2008

"she's my friend of all friends. she's still here when everyone's gone" -azure ray

lindsay's journal
may 16, 2001

i've got paint chipping on my toenails - my cuticles are trashed. it's flip flop season and my heals could use some serious parafin. i have really little ankles. you could fit your hand around em. my calves are weak and have no shape. my knees barely hold me up sometimes. they crack and pop and i buckle them back. i never shave passed my knees. my abs are hidden under this pudge of chub and they don't work well, so i slouch. bad. i chew my fingernails. but only just enough to keep them trim but also just enough to keep them thin and flaking. one bright blue painted pinky. a silver band on my index finger. i have an angel kiss on my right wrist. i used to hide it in my sleeve - but now i think it's pretty. but i've yet to knock the habit of pulling my sleeves down into my fists. which causes for stretched out sweaters. on both arms,though [??] i have slender wrists. i think they're pretty. i lotion my elbows plenty. my upper arm is upper arm. bone and skin. bound to sag. soon. my tired back: my back is soft and pretty - but it has plenty of knots and it aches like my knees. my neck is slender like my wrists. good for kissing. i've never really noticed my chin. so i'm guessing it's not doing anything too horrible. my pucker is a pretty pinkish with a permanant pout. my nose is a round snubbish pudge that looks right in place on my chipmunk cheeks. my eyelashes are short and sparse and my eyes are a special hazel that changes colors with my clothes. they're big and round and have been know to *sparkle. i've got tired circles all around em. giving evidence of sleepless nights and a worn out me. my ears are cute. i've punched two holes in each but don't wear earrings. my hair is a reddish-brown-shaggy-growing-out-mess. i put what i can behind my ears and the rest just does what it wants. my brain is smart in it's own ways. it feels all mixed up sometimes - but thinks on track and dreams big. my heart: awh. my heart. it's huge. dangerously tender. i'm guessing it's pink [??] it loves things it shouldn't and saves up extra compassion for the things it should. this silly/beautiful body of mine. just rented space.
+++++

i had a*love take a ton of pictures of me. trying to find one worthy to send off to my family to show them my new hair-do. after each one he'd say, "cute!" and i'd look and then say, "try again." i pulled the whole handful of portraits up on the computer and started picking them apart. lucas jude crawled up on my lap with huge eyes and said, "that's me mommia! look mommia! cuuuuuuute. i so pwoud of you!" then he climbed right down and was off to play. i stared at my picture after that. so familiar. i see her everyday. i judge and pick her apart everyday. no wonder she's tired. i just want to change her. wish she was more like this. more like that. she's lucas's mother. prettiest thing he's ever seen. andrey's been married to her for five years this week. he adores her, too. she was once {still am most of the time} some cath-mama's baby and some daddy's little girl, who loved every inch of her. so this picture that i wasn't even going to send my family. gets posted here. things for her are going to change. starting now.
these are five things about her that i love:

tomorrow i will:
wake up early
take a fast walk
eat real food

and you will:
post a picture of your pretty little self on your blog and point out five things you love about her.

goodnight you, lin

30 comments:

  1. It looks fantastic. I love how you pointed out 5 things about yourself. Its easy to see all the flaws that we have and forget to give ourselves some I lovea you time. Thanks for sharing the pic and yourself with us. I will ponder your thoughts today.

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  2. I did it. But I don't think I hit 5. You are a pretty lady! and I like the new do.

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  3. i dont think ive EVER won anything.
    well i won a scratch card. 10$
    last year.



    well im still trying to learn the secrets of not spending money... when i learn, i will let you know.



    detox sounds easy. i dont know how easy it will be...

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  4. Lindsay, I don't know if you remember me, I am Matt May's sister. We have met a couple of times. I have read your blog for a little bit, but I had to comment on this post. I love it. I really really identify with it. Thanks for posting.

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  5. I really do love your hair! And love that you posted this, all the things you love are the only things I've ever noticed.

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  6. You are so very lovely. On the inside, and on the outside too.

    I really, really, love your hair. You're gorgeous!

    I'll take your challenge tomorrow.

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  7. Love the hair and the thoughts in that head of yours.

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  8. Look at that flawlwess skin, and those eye brows are movie star! Lin you are a perfect beautiful you :0) I love you so much
    - lacie

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  9. Your hair looks great! Thanks for posting about yourself. You do it so well. You're beautiful.

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  10. I saw your hair last thursday night, but didnt see you to tell you how darn cute it is :) And I wish I had your skin, beeeeeautiful!
    Wonderful post by the way. I love reading your blog :)

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  11. I have always thought you were amazingly gorgeous!!! Your lips are totally kissable (and I am not even into girls) but they are pouty and pretty!! And your skin...AMAZING!!!!! It is no wonder you made such a beautiful baby!

    Love you!

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  12. she's a gem, this little lindsay.

    here's what i love about her:

    1. she's a rare find - beauty that radiates from the inside
    2. she's creative
    3. she can stay up late and turn out masterpieces - i can't function well at all past 10 pm
    4. she's calm - i am not
    5. she's probably my favorite person on this planet

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  13. Love the idea that you posted, but I'm not so brave. You are a beautiful young woman, and I love what you had to say about yourself♥

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  14. You are absolutely beautiful inside and out. I love this and I'm going to do it!

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  15. That is great! I love this and I am totally joining in.

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  16. Lindsay, you are ADORABLE!

    This will be hard for me, very very hard. But I will try. Soon.

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  17. You didn't get the moniker of Lovely Linsday by accident! I adored this post!

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  18. I can't tell you how much I loved this post. The things you pointed out about your picture were perfect. Beautiful, beautiful features. You have a way with words that makes me green with envy!

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  19. I love you Lindsey, and you look beautiful, please never get a pet snake,,,,

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  20. beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Lindsay! love you and all your pretty features!

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  21. I keep on seeing you walking on Sandifur! You look cute with your new hair cut!
    Kristen Hatch

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  22. i used to imitate everything you did. even your art. i think i'd credit any and all creative bones in my body to you. thats my favorite thing about you.

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  23. Lindsay-you want old doors and windows? Give me a call at 545-5442
    I probably have what you want. I collected that stuff years ago and still have alot left. Just let me know. I think you gave us all alot to think about this week. Thanks!

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  24. You are sooo cute! :) A long letter is coming your way soon - soo soo sorry for the delay :(

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  25. I love your new haircut! You forgot beautifully shaped eyebrows and clear skin! I can't participate in this one because I just posted a picture of myself and if I post another one people might think I'm vain : ) Lucas is SO sweet, you must want to squeeze him all the time!

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  26. Lindsay,
    This was my first official visit to your blog. This post was beautifully written, so much so, that I took the challenge myself. Thank you. We really cheat ourselves when focus to much on our flaws. Loved this. again... Thanks.

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  27. Linds .. I love the hair.. and just everything about you!

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  28. Lindsay I love this game and I love you! You are so PRETTY!!!!! I think you have gorgeous hair and gorgeus lips I try to plump mine but well, puffing them out doesn't work so maybe I should try collegen injections (can you imagine)... I will have to have to take a picture of me or find one and play too. :)

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  29. OH MY GOSH! i cant believe i didnt see this blog the other day...I LOVE YOUR HAIR!!!! yay yay it is short and cute and perky! hair can change a woman and this is definitely a positive!! youre always bootiful! -rach

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  30. hello!
    stumbled over here from onegirl... i really loved this post...thanks for sharing, your writing is wonderful.

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